A Vanity of Bags

‘Hi, I’d like to exchange these bags. I don’t seem to have had them long but they’ve gone all creased and keep bulging out of shape.’
‘Let me see Madame. We guarantee our products for thirty years; may I ask how long you’ve had them?’
‘Well…, it’s a bit longer than that now I think about it, but I’ve always looked after them well.’
‘Oh really Madame? Do you take them to parties, pubs, smoky places or on holiday?’
‘Well, I do have a very busy life. Anyway, just how could I have left them behind?’
‘Of course you’re right Madame. However, it appears to me that the quality of our products has exceeded their guarantees. They actually look pretty good considering the treatment they’ve had.’
‘But can’t you help me? I simply must look my best.’
‘I’m afraid there’s not really anything I can do for you, Madame.’
‘Are you sure? I’ll consider anything, anything at all.’
‘Well maybe…’
‘What is it? I have to know.’
‘Madame I suggest you either pay for repairs, although that can be expensive and the results never look absolutely convincing, or, you can pre-order much harder wearing skin around the eyes for use in your next reincarnation. Of course, you would have to make quite a sacrifice in order to qualify for this exclusive service.’
‘Ok…what sacrifice?’
‘Our Creative Design Department’s current offer is one bespoke physiological request in exchange for an IQ drop of ten points. So, that would be twenty IQ points in your case ’
‘What a relief; that’s not really much of a sacrifice is it?’
‘Madame is absolutely correct; your decision suits you perfectly.’
‘Oh, thanks; nice of you to say that. Where do I sign?’

Liz

First notes 30th Oct 09
First typed 31st Oct 09